About Us

If you have made it this far through, then congratulations, we don’t know how you made it but you have, and pray to kind Mr McAllister in the sky that you are at least somewhat interested in our boozy, banterful and at times bewildering conquest across the SPFL’s lower divisions.

Firstly, I am Mikey, the chilled out entertainer of the duo and we hope to make this Tour of the Terraces as enjoyable to read about for yourselves as it will be for myself and Mr Aaron Crow to partake in. Scottish football has come into a funny old era, with Celtic a seemingly unstoppable juggernaut and Rangers a parody of their former selves, the Motherwell Bois seem to be back and Hamilton Accies have had a million pounds knicked from them, it’s certainly a jungle out there. In this time, we turn to the lower leagues for salvation and a satirical look on not just football – but on Scotland in general – a place that everyone loves to shit on, including us moany-faced Scots ourselves!

Be sure we will do our best to prove the doubters wrong.

Now that you’ve listened to my partner in crime waffle on and on, time to introduce myself, Aaron. I consider myself the sensible organised player out of this partnership we have, in other words the boring bastard who keeps us in shape. Hoping to bring structure and analysis to the outings we find ourselves on. Mr Tucker and I look to take on the gritty quest of conquering the Scottish lower leagues, to see how those who support those teams below the top tier, take on their Saturday afternoon. Without these fans who turnout week in week out, there would be no Scottish football.

Hopefully after this journey we will have both the answer to why football is the greatest game of all time, and also that we can prove our game is not as much of a laughing stock as people would have you believe. Or maybe everything is shite and we are fooling ourselves, either way we are going to have an absolute ball doing it.

See you on Saturday for the Match Programme #1. If you’re unlucky enough too see us two wanks at your clubs stadium, we don’t bite, we would love to hear your thoughts.